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Remedies: Dealing With Resentment

Resolving Resentment


Many people who have suffered from bullying-trauma or abusive relationships often feel the pain of resentment for a period of time after said experiences. I recently consulted with a person who asked, “How do I get over my resentment?” My answer was, “By acknowledging that that resentment exists.”...

It’s true. Many of us, especially men, are driven by societal gender-stereotypes to bury our emotions and just ‘forget about things’ in hope that our problems will merely disappear. As a result of the extended period of time we spend being subjected to these emotionally-burying gender-stereotypes we tend to become resentful of those who are capable of expressing themselves without feeling the need to hold back. Also, we may become resentful of those who’ve kept us buried for so long. 

After all that time how does a person acknowledge that the resentment exists? First of all, the individual must recognize the distrust or hesitation toward whoever caused said resentment. The type of trauma a person experiences and the individual’s coping skills also contribute to the overall healing. Learning how to objectively look at that pain from a bigger picture can allow the person to determine the perfect means of handling said pain.  

The greatest healing factor regarding resentment is knowing when you need help dealing with it. Many people are fearful of counseling for various reasons; however, it sometimes helps having an objective opinion regarding emotion and trauma. Counseling was definitely the most beneficial choice I made when I was in college.

Resentment can be a powerful emotion, but it isn’t a permanent one necessarily. We must embrace our emotions and the reasons we have them, only then can we truly find the genuine solace we desire. 
 
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Donny Winter
A gay rights activist on YouTube and recently graduated from Central Michigan University with a degree in English and Anthropology. He’s aiming to publish a manuscript of LGBTQ-themed poetry and write a memoir of his high school days where he was a victim of frequent bullying.
 
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